Addicted To Aprons

Can you believe that a couple in New Mexico was about to end their relationship over a small dispute involving a kitchen apron? Roscoe and Jane had been married for 45 years, and were now grandparents. Never in their life had they ever considered breaking up. But for the first time in their 45 years, they were about to split over an apron. Roscoe and Jane used to live with their dog Lizzie. She had just given birth to small pup. These puppies were very naughty and they loved nothing more than exploring the house and tearing anything their nibbling teeth could get hold of. Curtains, bed covers, and anything made of fabric was kept in the attic, away from their sharp little teeth.

Jane never owned any contemporary funny aprons, but she did have a beloved vintage kitchen apron, which she had been using faithfully for most of their marriage. This apron was a gift from her mother, but one fine day one of the puppies scrambled up onto the kitchen counter and was able to get hold of the apron.

Jane was out of the house at the time, and on her return home she was shocked to see all the puppies playing with her apron! The apron was literally in shreds, covering the kitchen floor and sticking in the puppies’ teeth. At once, Jane took out the broom and started running after them. Her efforts were in vain and she couldn’t get hold of any of the little fellows, so she chose to throw the broom at the nearest puppy.

No sooner she had thrown the broom than Uncle Roscoe opened the door and entered the kitchen. To his surprise the broom hit him smack in the chest. Uncle Roscoe thought that Jane was angry with him over last night’s little spat about money. He flew into a rage and began yelling at poor Aunt Jane, who couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

As for Uncle Roscoe, in his huff and puff, he went on to call the family lawyer. The lawyer, who was also a family friend, was not at all happy to hear that Roscoe and Jane were calling it quits. Out of concern, he called some other family members and told them what was going on. In no time, the whole family started calling and dropping by one by one, inquiring as to why Roscoe and Jane were breaking up. As gossip tends to do, the word spread and people added their little bits to the story. Soon the rumors got out of control and everyone was almost certain that Roscoe and Jane were headed towards separation as they fought too much, argued, and threw things at each other. The lawyer had even begun to finalize the proceedings.

Fortunately, the lawyer took the time to sit down with Auntie Jane and asked her why she and Roscoe were making such a decision. Jane explained the whole misunderstanding with the apron and the puppies, and the lawyer, on hearing this burst into laughter! Soon he and Jane were in stitches over the whole thing. Uncle Roscoe, whose appointment with the lawyer was coming up, burst into the room and asked the lawyer what was wrong with them. The lawyer explained Jane’s side of the story, and Uncle Roscoe couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

As for the apron, the scraps Jane could salvage stayed in the drawer, Uncle and Aunt are still together, and there is no more talk about them parting.