I have often seen many women cook in their kitchens without aprons on, and have wondered how they manage to do it. I am a klutz: a good cook, but a clumsy cook. I cannot possibly go through a day in my kitchen without either splashing water everywhere or spilling something on myself. I ruined many a favorite t-shirt before learning the magic of saving my clothes from cooking mishaps. Actually, I didn’t quite learn my lesson; my mom taught it to me.

A busy mother of four, it seems I never have enough time to cook. When I do get the time, I am usually so rushed that invariably I drop or spill something on my clothes. One day my mom saw me ruining this lovely top she gave me for my birthday, and decided that she needed to do something about it. She brought me two gorgeous aprons, and I have been wearing them ever since. Needless to say, my clothes have a longer shelf life now.

If my aprons could talk, you would be shocked and appalled at what they have been through. I have completely destroyed at least 10 aprons in just the last 3 years. You would actually feel sorry for my aprons, if you spent a day watching me cook. I rely on them so much, since everything from sauces to meat is splattered all over my apron. My clothes, on the other hand, have been incredibly relieved. Happiest of all is my husband, who says he’s saved a fortune ever since my mom brought me those aprons.

My mom’s aprons were the ones that got me hooked, but those two have long since bit the dust. Some of my latest favorites are a couple of funny aprons that are signed by my husband. On one of them he wrote, “I’m all yours, let’s get dirty.” Of course, I have the typical one that says “Don’t mess with the chef,” but my favorite apron of all is the one my husband got for me which reads “If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.” In close competition, though, is the apron my children made for me one Mother’s Day that says “She may not make pizzas or pudding everyday, but our mommy makes the best food ever”.

I have acquired quite a collection of aprons now, and I love to actually wear them inside of ”saving” them in a drawer somewhere. Many times I wear one and think of what the apron has endured over time. Oil spills, curry paste smears, sauces, gravy, and the like. Ask my apron and you’ll know the truth.

Tags: Funny Apron Stories //